~Think Life Through~

My world crumbled around me, a gaping hole where my emotions once ran through...Something that I thought I once knew, that I once believed in, died and vanished blown away like ashes in the wind. My eyes teared up for the first time in so long, and I felt that for once, I could cry the tears I wanted to. That's how I felt about it.

I wanted so much, to break it, as much as it broke me, break it until i could forget about it and leave it in a smoking mess, crying and desolate, lonely as it was before I found it. My anger was so scary, I didnt know what was happening to me, my hurt was so much compared to the small words of comfort that my friends offered me.

They told me to throw it away, and to leave it lying where it was and forget about it, to leave all of my memories behind,and let the waves of time wash it away to heal me. But somehow I felt so wrong about this, somehow I had felt that there was another way,there had to be after all that I had been through to get where I am today, I couldnt even fix a broken string? It couldnt be...

I walked along the beach that night, wading in the ocean letting my thoughts mull through my head like a never ending story, wishing that somehow it wasnt true and that my connection, my string was still intact. My anger still pulsed through me, like a poison burning away the adrenaline that I had for it, marring my want and need for it.

Then I read something that my special friend told me, so recently, something that I always treasure in my heart and in my soul, something that made me, calm down, and just think about things as they went... The string was broken, but that was a long time ago, where I didnt understand what I loved about it. But the string is actually no longer broken, it was repaired and made stronger such a long time ago, just like my love for another person has grown and been made stronger..

I almost let my anger take over me and destroy what makes my life a purposeful one. Something that I could never truly destroy, and if I did I would regret it for the rest of my life because it's one of a kind...

What i'm saying is that, in our lives, there will be so many things that other people do, that we will hate and have a rage at, things that we will want to spite them and hurt them as much as they hurt us and destroy somthing precious to them. but if we let our anger get in the way and blind us to what we would forever regret, then the world becomes a hateful place, one with no forgiveness and no happiness. I'm saying, don't let anger take control, stop and take control of anger, clear your head, however you can, and then think it through, is it really worth losing something, that you shouldnt have to? Is it worth the moment of pleasure for a lifetime of sadness and regret? And you'll come to the same conclusion as I did a long time ago... No..I don't think it is...

Love you all

Song Lam