~Tears~

When I saw the tears flowing down your face, at that point I knew, that because the world was so hard on you, crying wasn't really a bad thing.
The tears you cry, are tears of sadness for the suffering throughout this earth. It was your way of expressing your thoughts, that were so strong that they could not be materialized into words. Your tears... were your heart.
But for me, I couldn't cry, my tears could not show what I felt inside of me. At that point, when my life shattered I could not show the pain that was cutting me up inside. I was bleeding internally with no way to release it. All I could do was cry tears within me. It numbed my pain, but could not dissolve it.
And when you came into my life, I could not cry the tears of joy that I felt at being repaired. Everything was inside of me. I could not express anything that I could ever have felt for you. I was too afraid of losing everything by showing my tears. I had to be strong, for those who could not be strong themselves, who needed someone to be strong for them, had to be strong, for those who were preying on me being weak, had to be strong, for myself.
I told myself that tears were for the weak, for those who could not hold themselves together at times of pain and distress. And I would never become weak.

And yet, here I am, crying like a fool, because you came into my life, and I never want to let you go, or lose you in any way. My tears, are for you now.

~Love you all~

Song Lam

~Guess I'm Just Lucky Like That~

I think that so far in life, I've been pretty lucky. Even though I was born differently and had a more intense upbringing than most kids I know, I think life so far has been pretty awesome. Specially when I'm nearing the end of high school. It's a relief to just get out there and experience the world at its best and its worst. Kinda scary thought though.
Also, I think luck was definately on my side, throughout my life even though most times it didn't. I think most of my luck went towards me surviving my operations. If thats not good luck, then I have to really think hard about what is.
I have a loving family, although we have our arguments, we bypass them and we come out better on the other side. It's funny to think that when I was younger, I always dreamed of getting out of this place and leaving my family behind. But now, as that opportunity comes closer, I have a feeling that, I don't really want to do that.
Some people also define luck as having somebody who they can stake everything on. All their troubles, happiness and other things, that person would always be there for them to listen, to laugh and to cry with them. If that's luck, then I've been lucky 8 times so far. In a game of pool, the "8" ball is the last ball to sink. And heres hoping that this shot is bad, because I don't want to let this ball end anytime soon. Right now, I count myself as one of the luckiest people in this world. It may not be financially lucky or anything like that, but this luck is sometimes more important. I'm lucky in so many ways, but I think the one that makes me feel so lucky right now, is that one person. Guess I'm just lucky like that I guess =D

Love you all,

Song Lam